Traditions and the Modern Bride

The one thing that seems to be coming up more often is the bride who wants to please her family by keeping the traditional wedding aspects but still wants to keep the ceremony fresh and modern. I, for one, can see how this could be a struggle for brides. A modern bride wants her wedding to be unforgettable and unlike all the other weddings she has attended but her family wants you to keep the “typical” traditions in the ceremony. In today’s blog, we are going to discuss three traditional aspects of a wedding a bride and groom can easily tweak to please their modern tastes.

First is the “first look.” Not letting the groom see his bride before the wedding is a HUGE deal to the parents of the bride. The latest trend of the “first look” being a private moment away from guests and captured by the photographer is a beautiful idea, but I can understand why the parents are not too keen on the idea. They WANT to witness the groom’s reaction to how beautiful his bride looks on their special day. Simple solution… invite the parents to witness the “first look.’ It may seem too simple of a way to please everyone, but it does!!!! They want to see that moment; let them be there. Plus, the pictures of the parents’ reactions behind the groom are always PRICELESS!

The next tradition is what I like to call the “great white dress debate.” The mother of the bride will fight tooth and nail on this tradition. However, let’s face it; we all do not want to wear white for many different reasons. I have grown to learn, most people cannot tell the difference between white, ivory, pearl or the sixty other variations of white they have come up with in a color wheel. I personally find oatmeal colored dresses stunning on most brides who choose to wear them. The mother of the bride wants her little girl to be in that pure white, princess gown. They have pictured the “perfect” dress since the day their daughter was born. I have found three great alternatives to help appease the mother of the bride without the bride having to give up on her modern dream dress;

1.) White flowers. Most mother of the brides love this idea because it ties the white back into the dress.

2.) Pearls or the jewelry their mother wore on her wedding day. Pearls are the essence of pure, timeless beauty and helps adds that “pure” factor of a white dress back in. And wearing their mother’s jewelry goes without saying; she will be so thrilled this was even a thought, that she will forget all about the bride’s non-white, modern dress.

3.) White lace overlay or belt. My last bride had a baby pink dress with a white lace belt and it was STUNNING! The belt was actually her mother’s idea as a compromise to the “great white dress debate.” Also, the belt was made from her mother’s dress… WIN, WIN!

And last but not least, traditional vows. The main reason this tends to come up in my consultations is because of the religious aspects of the vows; especially if the ceremony takes place in a church. It is the bride and groom’s big day. They have so much they want to share with one another beyond the traditional “love, honor and obey.” Modern bride and grooms, listen closely, WRITE YOUR OWN VOWS IF YOU WANT! Make them personal but be sure to include your family (a wedding is the blending of two families), religion (if you practice) and obviously how much you love each other. If this is still a deal breaker, bride and grooms are opting to do both traditional vows and writing their own. Guests can sit happily in their seat an extra five or ten minutes and I promise, they will not complain about listening to the two people they came to see joining as one talk about how they plan on building their lives together.

While this only highlights three traditional aspects, I am almost certain after reading this; ideas are already popping into your head on how you can make your traditions more modern. The main thing to remember is, IT IS YOUR BIG DAY! As long as you and your significant other are on the same page and are happy, what else really matters?

Mary Hutson